LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS?? *Not A Problem Anymore*

Follow me on twitter : @charldroidz

Long distance relationships have always had the stigma that they don't work. Some relationships experts disagree. "Having a successful, long distance relationship is possible," says Paul A Falzone, CEO of The Right One and Together Dating, the largest brick-and-mortar dating service in the world. "It's important that you both understand what's involved and that you're dedicated to working at communicating." ;))

Long distance relationships: Make 'em work!

If you're considering a long distance relationship or fall into one without much of a choice, don't worry -- there's help on the way. We turned to the experts for some tips on how to make your long distance relationship work. Here's what we uncovered:

1

Use the phone

Natasha Grach and her boyfriend have been together for seven years, and it was not easy at first. "We started our relationship apart for six months -- we were both college freshmen and he was in Russia studying abroad," she explains. "We kept things going by talking on the phone a lot -- sometimes as much as six to seven hours at a time!"And to make matters worse, talking on the phone for that long wasn't cheap. "Yes, there were calling cards, but that was such a hassle for us and they ran out really quickly with all those maintenance charges," she adds.

Grach advises not to let the logistics get in the way of talking on the phone with your partner everyday -- it's one of the most important things you can do to make a long distance relationship work.

2

Utilize other modes of communication

If you can't reach each another on the phone, then e-mail, IM and text messaging will do, says Falzone. "When you're stuck in a meeting halfway across the world, it's always heartwarming to receive a loving text message from your sweetheart," he points out. "Set aside a certain time, every day, to connect with each other."

With such busy lives and so many obligations pulling at you from all different directions, it's easy to neglect communicating in a long distance relationship. Using other modes of communication will keep you and your partner close even though you're technically far away from each other.

Keep the romance alive

You and your beau might not see each other every day, but it's important to keep the love going and present. "Give a little something -- mail a gift, write a love song, send a balloon-o-gram, order lunch and have it delivered to your honey -- just make it happen," says Falzone.

"You're not physically together all the time to enjoy those little extras that your sweetheart might do for you (like bringing you a latte made just the way you like it). Your sweetie will feel cherished knowing that you're thinking of him enough to send a special surprise." Plus, he will probably return the gesture and will make you feel super-special.

Partake in an even-trip exchange

Odds are you and your love will be visiting each other. It's important to make this even to avoid a disgruntled other-half. "Make sure that each person takes a turn visiting the other's city," says Debra Berndt, a dating and relationship expert, and author of the book, "Let Love In." "This way no one feels as though they are doing all the traveling, thus making all the effort in the relationship."

Don't take things (too) personally 

"Set aside a certain time, every day, to connect with each other."

Things will get in the way so be prepared. Since you and your partner live separately, odds are you'll maintain your lives in your own cities (as you probably should). It will help your relationship if you remain understanding and flexible.

"Changes in plans come up, work gets in the way and family emergencies emerge as a normal part of life. If your partner cancels a trip, do not take it personally and make a huge deal over the change (unless it becomes a regular pattern of behavior)," says Berndt. "Remember that you accepted the relationship as it is and must adjust to last minute cancellations as part of the deal."

Reservoirs of Positive Feelings

Most of us love to love and want our love to last. Yet so many relationships deteriorate
 over time. For those of you who have finally found your beloved, what you share is far too precious to lose fsight of or take for gFollow me on twitter @ charldroidz    
Here are some tips toward securing these "reservoirs of positive feelings" that will make you want more and get you through the growth edges when they arise. This is the stuff that takes us the distance:

1. Tend to It!

For your relationship to be and remain juicy and wonderful, like every living thing, it must be fed and fueled. After you take care of yourself, your relationship deserves to be your next priority, since it is the very relational foundation on which all that all else lies. It needs to be tended to, nurtured and revitalized to keep romance alive and evolving.
Healthy integration of the "I" and the "we" in your relationship requires transitioning a self-focused stance into making room for partnership. That requires loving consideration on a daily basis. It's about creating a win/win formula to living your best life together. Schedules can get busy and stressful to manage at times, and we can certainly fall into the habit of neglecting our partner. But you are always just one sentence or gesture away from nourishing your relationship and finding your way back to one another. Without question or excuse, make time for "date night," quality time that is just for the two of you. That's how you began, and that is why you are together, so live it and enjoy!
2. Focus on Haves, Not Have-Nots

Energy flows where attention goes. Remember why you fell in love, why you chose your beloved. Focus on what you have, and it will expand. What you appreciate appreciates in value.
3. "I Choose Us"
After the infatuation wears off and years go by, many of us know what it can feel like to start focusing on the disappointments and "sweating the small stuff." Next time you feel yourself going there, try to pause and affirm to one another: "I choose us." See how quickly it can transform where you put your attention and priority. Experience how much more intimacy and joy springs forth.
4. Be the Change
An effective strategy to effect positive growth and transformation in your relationship is to "be the change" you want to see. If you want more of "something," start with giving what you want to receive. If you want more patience, be patient. If you want more affection, express your love more demonstratively. Then watch what happens -- it does work!
5. From Routine to Romance
"Small graces" are the little ways we show kindness, respect, admiration and consideration for one another. What do you know that makes your partner feel seen, heard and loved? If you want to get back the sexy zest in your relationship, rekindle your romance by giving and receiving these small graces daily. By the same token, an important component to intimacy is also the willingness to openly, gracefully and joyfully receive love in return. In doing so, you are nourished and give back to your partner the joy of giving. When you both commit to loving and giving more rather than keeping score, magic happens.
6. Live and Learn
Spend quality time recovering, resolving and learning from any conflict that may arise. When we push down feelings, what we resist persists. What we bottle up will eventually blow.
Healthy partnership offers a mirror for personal growth. When you face challenging edges, there is so much that you can apply to your individual and collective advantage. Every perceived "problem" is a wonderful opportunity for discovery and breakthrough.
7. Fix the Problem, Not the Blame
Taking mutual responsibility is key, and owning what is yours is essential. If ever you hear yourself saying, "You are making me miserable," or, "It is your fault because...," these are clues that you detoured from the interdependent track  onto a codependent one.
8. The Art of Apology and the Power of Forgiveness
This incorporates our capacity for self-reflection and the ability to release resentments or any desire for retribution. When we can look our beloved in the eyes with a genuine expression of apology and/or forgiveness, it builds a strong foundation of safety, deep trust, understanding and resiliency.
9. Allow for Transitions and Invite Growth
Nothing is static or stays the same in life, thank goodness! We are beings that have the potential to develop and evolve through time. In order for our relationship to remain alive, vital and lasting, it must give breathing room for differences, change and expansion. We must allow time, support and celebration for personal, partner and collective growth.
10. Renew Your Vows

Each year you will celebrate your anniversary, another year you have shared your lives together. Use this as an opportunity to pay homage to the blessing of your beloved. Create a ritual around this acknowledgement and celebration. See one another with new and fresh eyes, as you cherish the history from where you have traveled, delight in where you are and dream of all that awaits you.

" THE DAY SO-CALLED YESTERDAY "

 ..ALMOST Everyone is relying on the quotation "PAST IS PAST".. Well , of course ...by merely looking at that statement --past is really past  .. but putting it in the perspective of those who have experienced something (triumph or tragedy) in the past --should you consider your past as something that should be buried somewhere in your YESTERDAY??
   Everyone ,as majority, cannot deny the fact that they had already experienced something they never wanted to be repeated... like for example is a break-up, or a tragedy that made your soul so much swallowed by fear causing depression to yourself ..
 But the main point there is , are you going to leave it cut and open? Or are you going to take the risk of involving yourself again in the same phenomenon in order for you to make things right the secong or third time around? These are just some of the questions circling and twirling in the minds of people when they talk of a certain topic that depicts of +PAST+

 .Well, let's focus this topic on LOVE ... which made this a very sensitive issue when it comes to revealing the truth that came from the so called YESTERDAY ...

 ... There are a lot of instances wherein you need to go back to your past if you are to protect your future ..
__ the main point here  is that  you should not be afraid of going back to the past specially when you already *MoveD On!! :)* --but how if not?

 --Well , that will be a hard time to think now ... but here are some QUOTES about gong back to the past :)

Love Quotes (from Twitter)

Don't make her wait for you just because you know she will.

The best thing in life is finding someone who knows all your flaws, mistakes, and weaknesses, and still thinks you're amazing.

I don't trust easily, so when I tell you I trust you, please don't make me regret it.

I'm afraid because I don't know if we will ever happen, or if i'm just wasting my time.



 




True love doesn't have a happy ending because true love doesn't end.

I don't think it's possible to forget someone who gave you so much to remember..

If a girl is silent, it's dangerous. They're either: about to blow up, need a hug, falling apart, crying inside, or all of the above.

Sometimes you have to let go of what's behind you, in order to see what in front of you.

Some girls don't realize what they're worth and some guys don't realize what they have


It's not hard to find someone who tells you they love you, it's hard to find someone who actually means it.

If he loves you he will make sure you know. Not just by words, but by his actions too.

You can erase someone from your mind. Getting them out of your heart is another story.

Find someone worth your tears, worth your laughter, worth your heart & that loves you as much as you love them.

Worst feeling in the world is knowing you did the best you could, and it still wasn't good enough.

The only time a goodbye is painful is when you know you'll never say hello again.

A relationship doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be real.


When someone smells nice, it automatically makes them more attractive.

The couples that are meant to be, are the ones who go through everything that is meant to tear them apart, and come out even stronger..

Just because you're mad at someone doesn't mean you stop loving them.

I love you yesterday, I love you still, I always have and I always will.

Love Quotes From Authors And Experts

A flower cannot blossom without sunshine, and man cannot live without love. ~ Max Muller

Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. ~ Aristotle 

Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye. ~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr. 

Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives. ~  C. S. Lewis

A man reserves his true and deepest love not for the species of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled, but for that one in whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy. ~ George Jean Nathan 

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. ~ Ingrid Bergman

Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable. ~ Bruce Lee 

I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love. ~ Mother Teresa

Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. ~ Oscar Wilde 

Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you.' ~ Erich Fromm 

The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves. ~ Victor Hugo 

Love does not dominate; it cultivates. ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Friends can help each other. A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself - and especially to feel. Or, not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine with them. That's what real love amounts to - letting a person be what he really is.~ Jim Morrison

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. ~ Lao Tzu  

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul. ~ Judy Garland 

A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea. ~ Honore de Balzac 

A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge. ~ Thomas Carlyle 

Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love. ~ Mother Teresa 

A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him. ~Brendan Francis 

Absence diminishes mediocre passions and increases great ones, as the wind extinguishes candles and fans fires. ~ Francois de La Rochefoucauld 

Can miles truly separate you from friends... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there? ~ Richard Bach 

Where there is love there is life. ~ Mahatma Gandhi 

A kiss makes the heart young again and wipes out the years. ~ Rupert Brooke 

We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone. ~ Orson Welles 

At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet. ~ Plato 

I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear. ~Martin Luther King, Jr. 

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. ~ Albert Einstein

Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do... but how much love we put in that action. ~ Mother Teresa 

Come live in my heart, and pay no rent. ~ Samuel Lover 

A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love. ~Stendhal 

If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you. ~ A. A. Milne

Do all things with love. ~ Og Mandino 

All love shifts and changes. I don't know if you can be wholeheartedly in love all the time. ~ Julie Andrews 

All my life, my heart has yearned for a thing I cannot name. ~ Andre Breton 

Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up. ~ James A. Baldwin 

I was born with an enormous need for affection, and a terrible need to give it. ~ Audrey Hepburn 

A part of kindness consists in loving people more than they deserve. ~Joseph Joubert 

Love is a force more formidable than any other. It is invisible - it cannot be seen or measured, yet it is powerful enough to transform you in a moment, and offer you more joy than any material possession could. ~Barbara de Angelis 

As soon go kindle fire with snow, as seek to quench the fire of love with words. ~ William Shakespeare 

If you press me to say why I loved him, I can say no more than because he was he, and I was I. ~ Michel de Montaigne 

A loving heart is the truest wisdom. ~ Charles Dickens 

Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship - never. ~ Charles Caleb Colton 

Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity. ~ Henry Van Dyke 

A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche 

Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life. ~ Leo Buscaglia 

I like not only to be loved, but also to be told I am loved. ~ George Eliot 

Faith makes all things possible... love makes all things easy. ~ Dwight L. Moody 

I was about half in love with her by the time we sat down. That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty... you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are. ~ J. D. Salinger 

Love is always bestowed as a gift - freely, willingly and without expectation. We don't love to be loved; we love to love. ~ Leo Buscaglia 

The best thing to hold onto in life is each other. ~ Audrey Hepburn 

First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity. ~ George Bernard Shaw 

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop. ~ H. L. Mencken


I can live without money, but I cannot live without love. ~ Judy Garland 

Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes... just be an illusion. ~ Javan 

Someday, after mastering the winds, the waves, the tides and gravity, we shall harness for God the energies of love, and then, for a second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire. ~ Pierre Teilhard de Chardin 

If you want to be loved, be lovable. ~ Ovid 

A kiss is a rosy dot over the 'i' of loving. ~ Cyrano de Bergerac 

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times. ~ Rita Rudner 

Love is the flower you've got to let grow. ~ John Lennon 

To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead. ~ Bertrand Russell 

We loved with a love that was more than love. ~ Edgar Allan Poe 

Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world. ~ Lucille Ball 

The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread. ~ Mother Teresa 

Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue, a wonderful living side by side can grow, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole against the sky. ~ Rainer Maria Rilke 

Life is the flower for which love is the honey. ~ Victor Hugo 

All mankind love a lover. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson 

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another. ~ H. L. Mencken 

'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. ~Alfred Lord Tennyson 

Love is the beauty of the soul. ~ Saint Augustine 

Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. ~ Robert Frost 

The one thing we can never get enough of is love. And the one thing we never give enough is love. ~ Henry Miller 

If you wish to be loved, show more of your faults than your virtues. ~Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton 

Love isn't something you find. Love is something that finds you. ~Loretta Young 

Absence - that common cure of love. ~ Lord Byron 

Love is a game that two can play and both win. ~ Eva Gabor 

It is sad not to love, but it is much sadder not to be able to love. ~Miguel de Unamuno 

The moment you have in your heart this extraordinary thing called love and feel the depth, the delight, the ecstasy of it, you will discover that for you the world is transformed. ~ Jiddu Krishnamurti

Everything is clearer when you're in love. ~ John Lennon 

It is difficult to know at what moment love begins; it is less difficult to know that it has begun. ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow 

The hours I spend with you I look upon as sort of a perfumed garden, a dim twilight, and a fountain singing to it. You and you alone make me feel that I am alive. Other men it is said have seen angels, but I have seen thee and thou art enough. ~ George Edward Moore 

You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love. ~ Henry Drummond 

Love is being stupid together. ~ Paul Valery 

I believe in the compelling power of love. I do not understand it. I believe it to be the most fragrant blossom of all this thorny existence. ~Theodore Dreiser 

True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen.~ Francois de La Rochefoucauld 

How absurd and delicious it is to be in love with somebody younger than yourself. Everybody should try it. ~ Barbara Pym 

Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit. ~ Khalil Gibran 

For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love. ~ Carl Sagan 

Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so. ~ David Grayson 

Don't brood. Get on with living and loving. You don't have forever. ~Leo Buscaglia 

Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs. ~ William Shakespeare 

What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us. ~ Helen Keller 

The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost. ~ Gilbert K. Chesterton 

Fortune and love favor the brave. ~ Ovid 

To say "I love you" one must first be able to say the "I." ~ Ayn Rand 

Blessed is the influence of one true, loving human soul on another. ~George Eliot 

It's useless to hold a person to anything he says while he's in love, drunk, or running for office. ~ Shirley MacLaine 

Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other. ~ Rainer Maria Rilke 

We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person. ~W. Somerset Maugham 

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. ~ Oscar Wilde 

The best proof of love is trust. ~ Joyce Brothers

"Sabi nga nila na dapat hindi mo e-judge ang tao sa panlabas niyang ka-anyuan.."

Dear Kuya Charles,

Magandang Araw po.

Ako po ay isa sa mga humahanga ng inyong mga blogs…nabasa ko po na kayo ay nagbibigay rin ng payo sa sinumang nangangailangan ng payo…kaya po ay hindi ko na pinalagpas pa ang pagkakataon at sumulat po sa inyo ng aking problemang pag-ibig.

Eto po ang aking kuwento:

Nagsimula po ang lahat noong 2^nd year high school palang po ako. Magkakapitbahay po kami ng taong lihim kong minamahal noon.Itago nyo nalang po siya sa pangalang Jordace. Mas matanda po siya sa akin ng tatlong taon…noong grade six palang po ako ay nag-attempt napo siyang manligaw  sa akin subalit sa murang edad ko po ay wala sa isip ko ang mga ganyang bagay. Nang magsummer ay umalis po siya papuntang Davao para doon po ipagpatuloy ang pag-aaral ng high school.

Makalipas ng dalawang taon ay nagkita kami ulit. Dalaga na  po ako. Ewan ko po ng mabalitaan kong bumalik na pala siya ay bigla pong akong sumaya. Sa katunayan nga po ay nagtatalon po ako sa sobrang saya. Hindi naman po ako binigo ng panahon dahil sa unang pagkikita pa lang namin ay nararamdaman kong mayroon parin po siyang gusto sa akin. Para po akong dinuduyan sa labis na galak. Tinanong niya po ako kung kamusta na raw po ang standing niya sa akin. Kung pwede na ba raw siya manligaw. Ipinakita ko po sa kanya na hindi ko nagustuhan ang mga tanong niya sabay iwas sa kanya. Pero sa katunayan po ay maligayang maligaya ako. Ganoon na po parati ang sagot ko sa kanya…kapag kinausap niya ako..ay lagi ko siyang binabara, minsan ay tinataasan pa ng boses…lagi ko siyang napapahiya sa mga taong nakapalibot sa amin…kahit ganyan ako sa kanya ay sobrang sakit ng nararamdaman ko dahil hindi ko kayang sabihin sa kanya ang tunay kong nararamdaman. Nagtiyaga siya sa kabila ng mga malalamig na tugon ko sa kanya. Ang huling natatandaan ko bago siya hindi na muli pang lumapit ay nang minsang nagtry siya makipag-usap at ganoon parin ako sa kanya..isa lang ang tanging nasambit niya “IPOKRITA KA TALAGA, GANG”…saka umalis. Buhat noon hindi na siya nagtangka pang mag-open ng nararamdaman niya sa akin. Hindi ko po alam pero namimiss ko po ang mga pakiusap niya.Alam kong pong napa ka-unfair ko. Alam ko napagod na siya at inakalang wala talaga akong gusto sa kanya. Nabalitaan ko nalang po may iba na siyang nililigawan at nagtagal sila ng limang taon na siyang hindi ko inakala na hindi nman pala siya ganoon na hindi marunong magstick to one sa pakikipagrelasyon.

Napakanegative ko po sa kanya..dahil akala ko …lolokohin niya lang ako..na hindi siya marunong magmahal ng tunay..at marami pang iba. ang labo ko po noon…kaya po tuloy ako rin ang nasaktan.

At saka ang akin kasing palagay noon, dahil sa mga bata pa kami baka kapag pinayagan ko siya siyang manligaw ay maghihiwalay lamang kami..sa isip ko saka nalang kapag nasa kolehiyo na ako. Siya po kasi ang pinangarap kong maging una ko at huli ko pong mamahalin (corny po heheeh pero totoo po)…

Hanggang po sa nagkolehiyo na po ako. Hinintay ko po siya hanggang nasa 3^rd year college nap o ako kaya lang po parang ang hirap maghintay kung hindi niya naman alam na may naghihintay sa kanya. Ako lang po kasi ang nakakaalam eh..mga barkada ko po, mga kuya ko, tanging siya lamang po ang walang alam, pati rin nga po mga magulang ko ay sinabihan ko narin. Ang hirap po ng nafefeel ko noon parang sasabog na ang dibdib ko sa inis at paghihinayang. Sa loob po ng anim na taon kong paghihintay ang dami ko pong naging karanasan, naroon po ang malaman kong naging GF niya ang friend ko back in highschool, nag-iiyak po ako ng 4 na araw, tapos sumunod po ay nalaman ko na ikinasal na ang friend kong yun na sa akala ko naman ay siya ang napangasawa..umiyak nman po ako… hindi po ba para na akong baliw?..kasi nang mga time na yun ay hindi na kami magkapitbahay..lumipat po kasi kami..kaya hindi ko na siya nakikita…tapos wala pa nman po akong cellphone noon.

Parati po ako naghahanap ng info tungkol sa kanya..nabalitaan ko rin na nakapagtapos na siya ng kanyang kurso..kaya nawalan narin ako ng pag-asa na magkakaroon ulit ako ng pagkakataong makita ko siya. ..

Nang minsang dumating ang problema sa pamilya namin nang dahil sa kuya ko po..parang ako po ang na-apektuhan..wala po akong mapagsabihan..siyempre narun po mga kaibigan ko..pero nung time na yun ay hinahanap ko ang taong dadamayan ako sa lahat2x..nakita ko sa mga kaibigan ko lahat sila may mga kasintahan na ako nalang ang wala..kaya ng minsang may manligaw sa akin ay sinagot ko nalang…simula noon binitiwan ko na ang paghihintay kay JORDACE…kahit pa lagi ko parin siya naiisip pero winawaksi ko dahil alam ko ako lang ang TANGA…at masasaktan lang ako sa paghihintay na ako lang naman ang nakakaalam..ang hirap po talaga…

Hindi po naging maganda ang naging relasyon naming ng una kong kasintahan…dahil po siguro wala pa akong alam at karanasan sa pakikipagrelasyon ay parang nasasakal ko daw siya..grabe ang sakit na nadama ko noon..iyak po ako ng iyak…ibinunton ko ang galit k okay JORDACE.. kahit hindi naman dapat…feeling ko po hindi ako deserving na paiiyakin lang ng lalaki..ang sakit sakit po talaga..nasabi ko sa sarili ko ganito pala kapag nagmahal. ….

Dahil narin sa kinakapos na ang magulang ko sa pagpapadala ng allowance ko..nagdesisyon po akong magworking student sa isa sa aking professor..nagtrabaho po ako sa kanya bilang all around sa lahat ng gawaing bahay..pati narin ang paglilinis ng Internet Shop niya..kinaya ko po ang lahat para malimutan lahat ng hinanakit ko sa mundo…

Hanggang sa isang araw humingi ako ng favor sa attendant ng shop dahil tapos narin ako sa aking trabaho ay makikigamit muna ako ng isang unit para malibang naman ako..binuksan ko po ang YM ko at nagsimulang magchat2x sa kung sinu-sino..may nakilala po ako..doon sa username niya ay STAR ang pangalan..nagkaroon kami saglit ng salitan ng mga opinion..nalaman niya na working student ako at ganun din siya..bigla po siya nagka-interes sa akin at hiningi ang mobile # ko…eh siyempre po binigay ko ..pero ng binigay niya ang mobile # niya ay hindi ko pinansin..kasi sa isip ko sino ba namang timang ang maniniwala na magkikita kami eh ang layu-layo po ng lugar namin sa sa isat-isa…sa GENSAN po ako at siya ay sa ZAMBOANGA po…imposible po talaga..

Doon po nagsimula ang pagkakaibigan naming ni STAR..hanggang po sa naging kasintahan ko na siya hanggang ngayon..limang taon na po kaming magkarelasyon..kung iisipin nga po ay napakacute ng story naming dalawa..every year po ay umuuwi siya amin para ako ay bisitahin..nang makapagtapos po siya noong 2011 ay nagsama po kami ng mahigit isang taon..at wala naman pong problema.. kasal na lang po talaga ang kulang sa amin…noong JULY 2012 umalis po si STAR papuntang CEBU para mag-apprentice dahil gusto niyang magtrabaho sa mga cruise ship sa labas ng bansa. Ako naman po ay andito na sa Manila para makipagsapalaran din dahil may plano kami na kapag stable na ako ay magtutulungan kami sa mga papeles niya para abroad. Okay napo ang lahat..excited na ako sa magiging kalabasan ng mga plano naming. Hanggang sa isang iglap.

Kung saan po gusto ko nang lumagay sa tahimik ay siya naman pong dating ng isang taong matagal ko ng pinapangarap…sa tagal po ng panahon mahigit 10 years kaming hindi nagkaroon ng communication, nagkaroon kamin ulit dahil sa FB. Gusto ko po sanang huwag nalang pansinin..kaya lang dinala po ako ng mga kamay ko na magreply sa kanya..sa tanang buhay ko po ngayon lang po ulit ako nakaranas na ang saya-saya ko…talagang walang pagsidlan ang kaligayahan ko,…tinanong niya po ako kung dalaga parin po ako..siyempre sinabi ko po ang totoo na may kasintahan na ako at malapit ng magpakasal..binalik niya ang mga kahapon na pinanggagawa ko sa kanya..ang dami niyang tanong sa akin..na pilit ko namang sinasagot kahit punong-puno ako ng panghihinayang dahil alam kong mutual ang nararamdaman naming sa isat-isa..

Sa limang taon ng pagsasama naming ni STAR hindi ko alam pero minsan ay tinitigan ko siya ng matagal…dahil pilit kong inaarok bakit parang may kulang akong nararamdaman…nang minsan inalok niya na akong magpakasal ay para ayoko..kahit pa wala namn akong iniisip na iba noon..na para bang may hinihintay po ako..pero aaminin ko po lagi akong tinutukso ng mga kaibigan ko dahil salawahan ang isip ko dahil lagi ko pong napapanaginipan si JORDACE..ewan ko po ..ang labo ng puso ko…

Hirap na hirap po ako ngayon..ano po ang gagawin ko…hindi po ba kalabisan na sabihin ko ang sekreto ko noon kay JORDACE o baka naman po umaasa parin ako ng mabigyan ng pagkakataon ang feelings naming sa isat-isa ni JORDACE…

Ang hirap po magdecision dahil alam ko po MAHAL NA MAHAL ako ni STAR ang dami niya po sinacrifice para sa akin, mabait po siya at IDEAL po siya maging ASAWA..ngayon nga po ay naguguilty na ako dahil bigla po nawala ang dating love ko kay STAR ng ganun-ganon  nalang….hindi ko po maintindhan…hindi ko namn po sinabi kay JORDACE ang nararamdaman ko…ang alam din niya ay KAIBIGAN lang ang turing ko sa kanya..pero hanggang ngayon ay anjan pa pala…

Ang hirap po…sana po ay matulungan nyo ako sa problema kong ito…

MORE POWER po sa inyo…!

Sanay marami pa po kayong matulungan..

Lubos na  Gumagalang,

ACE

_______________AND HERE IS MY ADVICE ...

 ...Sinasabi nila na FIRST LOVE NEVER DIES .. at sa aking palagay ay naniniwala ka parin sa kasabihang iyon ...totoo naman talaga ang quotation na iyon dahil sigurado akong walang sinumang makakalimot sa kung sino man ang unang nagpatibok ng puso mo ... kaso ,, ang mali nga alng doon ay, "lihim"---dito sumasablay ang maraming tao .. sa "LIHIM",,,dahil una sa lahat... kapag nagmahal ka ng palihim ,,, ay patuloy mong sinasaktan ang puso mo kahit nasasakal kana sa mga pangyayari ,,at isa pa ...normal lang ang magmahal ng lihim , pero sana ay dumating yung araw na handa mo nang sabihin iyon ,,,ngunit siyempre, sa bawat aksyon ay may nakaakibat na reaksyon ...at sa bawat reaksyon , may nababagabag na relasyon ..alam kong naiintindihan mo ang ibig kong sabihin ... ,,,

Ikaw na rin ang nagsabi na mahal ka ni STAR at sobra ang pagmamahal niya sayo ..at sa'yo pa mismo nanggaling ang salitang IDEAL siyang maging asawa mo ... hindi ba't sapat na dahilan na yon para pagtuonan mo na nang pansin ang magiging kinabukasan mo sa kanya ? ... Dahil sa isang malawakang pag-iisip ... siya ang tumugon ng lahat ng iyong pangangailangan sa pagibig noong sumuko ka sa paghihintay kay Jordace ...Ikaw  mismo ang sumuko kaya hindi mo na dapat ibalik pa ang nakaraan sa pamamagitan ng pagbabalik tanaw sa mga bagay na hindi naman natin dapat pang balikan ...Ngunit ang desisyon ay nasa iyo ... "Sino ba ang mas pipiliin mo ? ..ang taong minahal mo ng palihim pero nawala rin sa isip mo ? o ang taong pumuna ng pag-ibig na nawala sayo simula ng nalaman mong magnda ang kanyang pakikitungo sayo ?"--sino ba sa palagay mo ang nangingibabaw sa puso mo ?--- ang taong matagal mo nang pinapangarap? o ang taong nariyan na sa tabi mo pero di mo na napapansin simula ng magkatagpo kayong mul ? --- Wala ako sa lugar upang sumagot sa mga katanungang iyan ..ikaw lang ang makakapagsagot niyan ...at ang iyong desisyon ,, ay rerespetuhin din naman  ...---ito lang ang masasabi ko sa'yo ..."kung patuloy kang nagpapaapekto sa kung ano man ang nakaraan mo, hindi na iyon magbabago kahit na nariyan kana sa kinaroroonan mo ,,ngunit kung matututo kang tumanggap na hindi talaga kaayo ang para sa isa't isa ...malalaman mo sa sarili mo ___ ANG SARAP MABUHAY KAPAG KAPILING MO ANG NASA TABI MO NGAYON "--- :) i hope it helps ...you can send your reply to this advice with my gmail account ! :) GOD BLESS !! MALALAGPASAN MO RIN YAN :)...